No Mand's Land: Tweedle Dee and Twitter Dumb

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tweedle Dee and Twitter Dumb

Tweet!
I'm writing a column about Twitter.
10:49 AM Mar 14th from web

I’m Twittering as we speak.
I’m writing about Twitter and Twittering about writing about Twitter.
I’ve linked my Twitter account to the blog for this column. As I write about Twitter, and Twitter about Twitter, my ‘tweets’ automatically appear on my blog.
I think, to be fair, that I should also blog about Twittering. Twitter only gives you 140 characters at a time, so I could use the extra space on my blog to expand on my thoughts about Twitter.
Of course I could have used this column to expand on my thoughts about Twitter, but I thought it would be more amusing to use this column to write about how amusing it is to, well, try and explain what Twitter is.
I am not going to email anyone, however, about my column about Twitter, or my Twittering on my blog: unless, of course, someone emails me and asks me about it.
And that’s final.

Tweet!
I'm still writing.. well, I took a few breaks: just got back from Staples.
3:23 PM Mar 14th from web

They call people who sign up on Twitter, and then agree to follow other peoples’ Twittering, Followers.
Real imaginative, huh?
You can follow me on Twitter.
Yeah, you’re right: I’m not sure why you would either, unless of course you want more of the same material, in smaller, byte-size pieces. Then again, as Lotus founder Mitchell Kapor once wrote, ”Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.” So maybe there is something to be said for getting your information from Twitter’s ‘bubbler’.
There are other Twits though, that you really might want to follow, regardless of what they have to say.
But you have to be signed up on Twitter to follow the Twits on Twitter: unless of course you’re following me, and then you can just read this.
Are you following me?
There’s actually someone on Twitter who goes by the name, Hitler, and he or she has quite a few Followers.
There’s a Mussolini too.
And of course, Mickey Mouse is well represented (he and Minnie have been expressing themselves in less than 140K for years).

Tweet!
I'm revising the Twitter piece: usually get it in to the paper Sunday night.
About to sit down to Nana's Chicken: an old family recipe.
6:49 PM Mar 14th from web

There are even quite a few Senators and Congressmen who Twitter.
When Obama was giving his first television address to Congress, a lot of those Twits were Twittering while he spoke (or they had their aids Twitter for them). That’s rude behavior in the real world, but in the world of Twitter it’s like saying ‘gesundheit’ when somebody sneezes. It’s the natural thing to do!
I think it would be strange to have my own Followers.
Then again, if my Followers were just friends, it wouldn’t be so strange. But then would be they be Followers, or Friends?
Mostly people on Twitter who follow at all, follow famous Twits. They get to hear what this famous Twit had for lunch, or that famous Twit thinks of Obama, or how this other famous Twit has a new book, or an upcoming show, or a tee shirt for sale.
In the real world I think they call that stalking.

Tweet!
I've given up on that first version. Going to start over.
It's already Monday morning. What the hell is Twitter anyway?
00:17 AM Mar 15th from web

I probably got into Twittering a bit too late.
I missed the Golden Age of Twittering, when there was a real spirit of idealism.
Rumor has it that for just under seven days - sometime in 2007, all Twitterers were expressing their innermost thoughts, revealing their hopes and dreams, and offering their prayers up like a burnt offering to the gods: a small, 140-byte burnt offering, but a sincere one.
But on the day I signed up a girl, or a company, or a Twit called Scandalouswoman signed on as my Follower right away, then offered me her link.
And besides Hitler and Mussolini, I noticed that my fellow Twits also included radio stations and grocery stores and pizza parlors. all of whom had their own Twitter IDs and their own Followers.
I got the impression that Twitter was a kind of mall of the mind: there are some nice things if your credit is still good, but mostly it’s pushy Eastern European immigrants trying to sell you cosmetics from their overstuffed carts.
Or maybe Twitter was like the kid with Tourettes: you know sooner or later he’s just going to blurt it all out.
Or Twitter was like one of those scrolling message marquees that they put in store windows, except this one is strapped to your head and lit up 24/7.
Hell, I really don’t know what Twitter is. Give me a few more weeks.
And yet somehow, miraculously, I am Twittering as we speak!

Tweet!
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” - Arthur C. Clarke
7:25 AM – from the web

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Running Commentary

Dec. 29, 2008 The Laundromat may be the last authentic public place.. That is, a place where people gather to do something other than gather, or be seen, or see others. Not a franchise bar, or a concept restaurant, or a public hall. A place where - necessity creates the confluence? No, that's not it: necessity, in a way, is also behind the concept restaurant, or the themed bar. A place where by accident, or as a result of forces beyond the personal, strangers come together? Our dryer died and so, every week I take a few soggy loads of wash to Ye Olde Pilgrim Washing Well Laundromat downtown: that's not a joke by the way, its the actual name. It had been a while since I had gone to a laundromat. The last time might have been in the mid eighties, when I drove my motorcycle to Connecticut, down 84, and on the way back pulled into a laundromat in a strip mall just off the highway near Hartford, to dry off the clothes I was wearing. I stripped down to my skivvies, threw everything else into a dryer, and waited for my clothes to dry and the rain to lessen. Now though, I am a regular, of sorts, at Ye Olde, spending about 40 minutes per visit per week. I bring the clothes in trash bags, so I can dump them easily in to the dryers (which are surprisingly inexpensive: about 75 cents per load). Then, when they are dry I put the clothes in laundry baskets and slip the trash bags over each basket - keeping them safe from rain or whatever, and ensuring that I will not let a stray sock fall out while I am transporting them. In my forty minutes or so, I usually read, but I can't help but hear conversations, can't completely block out the songs from the radio, and though I know my dryers have a long way to go, can't help but stand and check out the time remaining on each when I hear the warning buzzers from other dryers somewhere nearby. Today I overheard bits and pieces of a conversation between two women about a third - who had just left: how tough things were for her, about her cat which she takes everywhere, about how the cat behaved more like a dog, sitting on command, waiting at her side at intersections. Some talk of Obama too, cynical assessments of America, pity for Obama, or anyone, who was going to take over now. Complaints about the lack of anything good to read: 'just Sports Illustrated'. Information about abandoned laundry. How could anyone forget about their laundry - and, even if they did, why don't they come back for it. Seems there is a wealth of unclaimed laundry in the laundromats basement. Forty minutes is all I need though. Today, while the wash tunbled, I read a few chapters from 'Mr. Rinyo-Clacton's Offer', an AIDS era story of death and potato pancakes. Uh oh, it's happening. I am thinking that a combination laundromat and bar is a good business concept. But then I know I wouldn't go there - unless, somehow, the owners could manage to keep the laundromat authentic. Maybe the thing to do would be to keep the two business separate. Have a glass door between them, but different management. Act as if there is no connection, but allow people to take their drinks between them, sell drinks with funny names like 'Spin Dry' and 'Fluff and Fold'. No, that wouldn't work.
Dec. 9, 2008 Been a long time since I added to this blog. I've been churning out the columns, but not taking the time to transfer them here. But I'm baaack, as they say. A lot has happened in the mean time. We finally won one: after ten years of going door to door for various Democratic or progressive candidates, we finally won back the White House. Of course Obama has his hands full - after eight years of the disastrous Bush administration. But beggars can't be choosers. Anyway, here we are, on the verge of a complete economic meltdown. Maybe the truth is that I'm a crow - a scavenger that thrives in the worst of times. Maybe for me, the news is good. Gosh, looking back at my last addition to this stream, I see I was commenting on poor Anna Nicole. Gone and, pretty much forgotten.
FEB15,2007 Anna Nicole is going out as she came in, with a great deal of sound and fury, signifying nothing. There was less there than any of us might have imagined: a little girl caught in a rainstorm. The significance of Anna Nicole, I think, is that she represents a kind of innocence: not of herself, but of this age of non-stop images. Nothing, and no one can be left alone: once you are in the public domain, you are the public's domain. Perhaps, in time, we will tire of this, or we will squander everything for it. The world's fascination with Anna Nicole is no different than the 11-year old boys' obsession with his Playstation. Anna Nicole may have been the first victim of society's inability to pull themselves away from the screen. Certainly she is not the last. FEB 17, 2007 After six years of incompetence and ideological posturing I suppose it is not surprising that is what is now a Republican minority cannot make a clean break from the past. However the cowardice that Republican Members of Congress has demonstrated recently, and the equally pathetic obstruction of their counterparts in the Senate as regards the efforts to make a statement in opposition to the escalation in Iraq, genuinely angers me - and demands, I believe, a creative, non-violent reponse. The Republican apologists - those formally conservative voices in the press and on television who, in the past several months have begun to stake out a more moderate role (anticipating the change in the country's mood) had for some time been sniping at the Democrats as to the impotency of their non-binding proposals on Iraq. But the obstructive policies or the right have put the lie to that perspective. Elections will come again in two years - and more Republicans will pay with their seats, but we need to take action now to let them feel our anger. They should not be able to walk to lunch without hearing our displeasure and disdain. They should not be able to spend their weekends golfing or skiing, or enjoying themselves at all until they make a clear and unequivocal statement as regards this escalation. This war has gone on now, longer than World War Two, and the President seems content that it go on forever - for to do so is a kind of justification - the final justification. They want this war to go on because, to end it would be to finally admit what idiots they have been. We wouldn't accept this kind of argument from our children, and damned if I am going to accept it from these children. These are 'The Emperors New Clothes".

No Mand's Land

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tweedle Dee and Twitter Dumb

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