Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tweedle Dee and Twitter Dumb

Tweet!
I'm writing a column about Twitter.
10:49 AM Mar 14th from web

I’m Twittering as we speak.
I’m writing about Twitter and Twittering about writing about Twitter.
I’ve linked my Twitter account to the blog for this column. As I write about Twitter, and Twitter about Twitter, my ‘tweets’ automatically appear on my blog.
I think, to be fair, that I should also blog about Twittering. Twitter only gives you 140 characters at a time, so I could use the extra space on my blog to expand on my thoughts about Twitter.
Of course I could have used this column to expand on my thoughts about Twitter, but I thought it would be more amusing to use this column to write about how amusing it is to, well, try and explain what Twitter is.
I am not going to email anyone, however, about my column about Twitter, or my Twittering on my blog: unless, of course, someone emails me and asks me about it.
And that’s final.

Tweet!
I'm still writing.. well, I took a few breaks: just got back from Staples.
3:23 PM Mar 14th from web

They call people who sign up on Twitter, and then agree to follow other peoples’ Twittering, Followers.
Real imaginative, huh?
You can follow me on Twitter.
Yeah, you’re right: I’m not sure why you would either, unless of course you want more of the same material, in smaller, byte-size pieces. Then again, as Lotus founder Mitchell Kapor once wrote, ”Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.” So maybe there is something to be said for getting your information from Twitter’s ‘bubbler’.
There are other Twits though, that you really might want to follow, regardless of what they have to say.
But you have to be signed up on Twitter to follow the Twits on Twitter: unless of course you’re following me, and then you can just read this.
Are you following me?
There’s actually someone on Twitter who goes by the name, Hitler, and he or she has quite a few Followers.
There’s a Mussolini too.
And of course, Mickey Mouse is well represented (he and Minnie have been expressing themselves in less than 140K for years).

Tweet!
I'm revising the Twitter piece: usually get it in to the paper Sunday night.
About to sit down to Nana's Chicken: an old family recipe.
6:49 PM Mar 14th from web

There are even quite a few Senators and Congressmen who Twitter.
When Obama was giving his first television address to Congress, a lot of those Twits were Twittering while he spoke (or they had their aids Twitter for them). That’s rude behavior in the real world, but in the world of Twitter it’s like saying ‘gesundheit’ when somebody sneezes. It’s the natural thing to do!
I think it would be strange to have my own Followers.
Then again, if my Followers were just friends, it wouldn’t be so strange. But then would be they be Followers, or Friends?
Mostly people on Twitter who follow at all, follow famous Twits. They get to hear what this famous Twit had for lunch, or that famous Twit thinks of Obama, or how this other famous Twit has a new book, or an upcoming show, or a tee shirt for sale.
In the real world I think they call that stalking.

Tweet!
I've given up on that first version. Going to start over.
It's already Monday morning. What the hell is Twitter anyway?
00:17 AM Mar 15th from web

I probably got into Twittering a bit too late.
I missed the Golden Age of Twittering, when there was a real spirit of idealism.
Rumor has it that for just under seven days - sometime in 2007, all Twitterers were expressing their innermost thoughts, revealing their hopes and dreams, and offering their prayers up like a burnt offering to the gods: a small, 140-byte burnt offering, but a sincere one.
But on the day I signed up a girl, or a company, or a Twit called Scandalouswoman signed on as my Follower right away, then offered me her link.
And besides Hitler and Mussolini, I noticed that my fellow Twits also included radio stations and grocery stores and pizza parlors. all of whom had their own Twitter IDs and their own Followers.
I got the impression that Twitter was a kind of mall of the mind: there are some nice things if your credit is still good, but mostly it’s pushy Eastern European immigrants trying to sell you cosmetics from their overstuffed carts.
Or maybe Twitter was like the kid with Tourettes: you know sooner or later he’s just going to blurt it all out.
Or Twitter was like one of those scrolling message marquees that they put in store windows, except this one is strapped to your head and lit up 24/7.
Hell, I really don’t know what Twitter is. Give me a few more weeks.
And yet somehow, miraculously, I am Twittering as we speak!

Tweet!
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” - Arthur C. Clarke
7:25 AM – from the web

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