Help Wanted!

It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure! Remember that?

If that appeals to you, how about this: your own staff of 20, near-dictatorial powers, and ultimate responsibility for upwards of 750 very eager ‘employees’.
Enjoy the outdoors?
Like to get a little dirty, now and then?
No, I’m not talking about heading up FEMA or any disaster agency, but you’re getting warmer.
How are you at handling an irate parent, or two, or three, a week?
And of course the pay is, well, to be honest there is no pay.
Ready to sign up? Sorry, it’s not as easy as that. Though there are an enormous set of responsibilities, no pay, long hours and a lot of grief, you also have to be loved and respected by the staff or you’ll never get the job in the first place.

Pope!
You’ve got it, sort of.
I am talking about a once-in-a-lifetime job opening (when you retire you’ll feel like you died and went to heaven) that has just opened up and if you act fast you may have a shot.
El Presidente of the South Plymouth Little League!

I just received an email from South Plymouth Little League saying that resumes are now being accepted, and listing the following percs:
-Free Life Insurance!
-Body guards that travel with you, field to field.
-Cheeze-whiz on your hot dog at no additional cost!
Carpentry experience desirable, but not required.
Public speaking is part of the job, but eloquence is optional.
A big ego is mandatory, but don’t expect that it will get you anywhere.
Little League is full of big egos, and fragile egos and, of course, with hundreds and hundreds of egos that have just hatched and need nurturing.
Strangely enough, you don’t have to know a lot about baseball. You should love the game –the way kids play it, but you don’t have to be a walking encyclopedia of baseball lore, or a former high school star (there are plenty of those guys coaching teams).
No, the main attribute required in a President of a local Little League is a kind of naiveté: you have to believe, no matter how many ‘more-experienced’ staff members tell you otherwise, that you can make the experience more enjoyable for the kids.
That’s the constant struggle –as I see it: to keep it about the kids.

I know a little about the subject. I was Pope Francis the First, back when the League encompassed only about 600 players divided into about 40 teams. Now there’s upwards of 800 players, and something like 60 teams.
When I was the Big Dude of local Little League (there were other titles I heard muttered) the pay was not so good. Today, taking in to account inflation, the pay is the same.
When I was El Presidente I earned the title of ‘The Human Rain Delay” because of a mistake I made with our newfangled sprinkler system. Today there are new fields, new fences, remote-controlled scoreboards, and Cheeze-whiz dispensers to play with.
It’s not really about baseball.
It’s not really about the rules.
It’s definitely not about the parents and their needs.
No, if you want to be the President of the local Little League you have to be a bit of a fool, or willing to act the part at least.
Ideally, a twelve-year-old would make a good Little League President, but they’re usually too busy playing games to take on the job.
If a big piece of that twelve-year-old kid you once were, is still available –maybe forgotten in the glove compartment of your new pick-up truck, you’re a likely candidate.
If you’re a salesman who can set his own hours, or employed locally so you can get away at a moment’s notice, or even if you are temporarily out of work, you’re looking even better.
Do people often scratch their heads and mutter, ‘that’s one crazy SOB” when you speak?
Congratulations, Mr. President.