A Grin Without a Cat!

“Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life!” --Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I’m confused.
I thought the question was, whether we should abandon our historic town meeting form of government in favor of a mayoral system?
But from what I have seen in recent weeks, we may be considering creating a Ministry of Propaganda instead.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Then again, that’s no way to run a town, and I thought that was what the argument was about: the best way to run the town.
Instead we are hearing Reagan-era platitudes about ‘morning in America’, and ‘new beginnings’, and wild claims of an uber-mayor who will single-handedly keep the streets clean, improve schools, build parking garages, attract business to town, negotiate with Entergy, impose a blue-blazer dress code on all residents, put slot machines at Plimoth Plantation and sell hot dogs from a cart on Water Street.
Oh, and I almost forgot, spread the love.
And how are they spreading that love, today? Why, by press release and publicity events, and by what appears to be an endless loop of video tape being broadcast on the local cable access.
In between harmless half-hours of psychics and Japanese wrestling our local cable access station is featuring hours of interview and self-congratulatory commentary featuring supporters of a Mayoral system earnestly describing their ‘vision’ of a revitalized Plymouth.
To hear the so-called Unity party leaders today, they have nothing but the highest regard for the town’s elected officials, and always have.
To hear Unity leader Mike Jones speak this week, he believes Town Manager Mark Sylvia is a world class professional who is doing the best he can, ‘under the circumstances’.
(Then, sotto voce, the Jones Gang notes that the Town Manager is not one of ‘us’, that our elected officials are dishonest, and that the only way to guarantee accountability is to pay for a full-time city council and mayor )
Gone and (nearly) forgotten are the past several years of personal attacks on town officials.
Gone and (nearly) forgotten are efforts to delay or deny funding for new schools.
Gone and (nearly) forgotten are efforts to split the town down the middle, between families with children and retirees.
The new ‘Unity’ mayor –they say with a straight face, will be a Plymouth guy, on our side, with no ax to grind, no special interests to please, who will descend from the clouds surrounded by trumpeting angels and declare peace and prosperity in Plymouth.
The Unity party line is that they love everyone, are against no one, respect all town officials, embrace the unions, and that if it weren’t for the constraints of our existing form of government Plymouth would be the ‘jewel of the South Shore’.
Excuse me while I pull over to the side of the road and heave.
Do I need to say that it’s not that simple?
Do I need to say that a great deal of the fault for Plymouth not being “all that it can be” lies with us, the residents?
Do I need to speak to the preposterously low turnouts at elections, big and small?
But back to the Ministry of Propaganda’s prime time schedule, most of which –curiouser and curiouser, have the same producers, camera operators, and technicians.
It’s television by Unity, for Unity, and featuring Unity.
Particularly hilarious was a recent episode of a show called This Old Towne – in which the host hardly had time to ask any questions of his guests (all Unity charter commission candidates) because he spent so much time saying what great humanitarians they were, how right they were, how much he agreed with them, and how he was a proud member of their team.
According to Unity’s leaders, the only reason that there is organized opposition to their efforts to trash 400 years of town government is because town officials are worried about losing their jobs.
Think that through: a group of long time town residents, who devote countless hours to the town for little or no money, take constant abuse from residents and the media, are supposed to be desperate to hold on their jobs.
Excuse me while I pull over to the side of the road and have a good laugh.
Honestly, if its platitudes and self-sacrificing behavior that you are looking for, you need look no further than our existing form of government.
You may not like the outcomes, you may not like the people, but you should appreciate a system that allows for maximum involvement of town residents.
According to proponents of a Mayoral system, our existing form of government is antiquated. Well, yes, the test of a good system of government is often how long it can last. So when did the existing system become antiquated? After 100 years? 200 years? 300 years?
Everyone believes that the present system can be improved, enhanced, and made more accessible –especially if our townspeople are really interested in playing their part. But I for one do not believe we should start all over.
Maybe if Ronald Reagan were running for Mayor of Plymouth I’d feel differently. Not that I liked his policies, quite the opposite: but at least you got the sense that Reagan actually believed the words that were coming out of his mouth.
Instead, the Unity slate leaders seem to have adopted the Cheshire cat approach to town politics: no matter what happens, stick to the script and keep on smiling.