The Official Do-It-Yourself Isolationist Kit

What do present-day pilgrims want most today? To be left alone! So, to help you out, I’ve put together this do-it-yourself isolationist kit.
Follow these instructions and, in no time at all, you won’t know what hit you.

1. Change the locks on your doors.
2. Cancel your cable TV subscription.
3. Likewise, with the newspaper.
4. Get one of those walkie-talkie phones for yourself, but no one else: then have your land-lines removed.
5. Cancel your credit cards.
6. Cancel your magazine subscriptions.
7. Do not renew your voter registration.
8. Turn in the plates on your car.
9. Cut down your mail box.
10. Get a windmill…
11. and some big batteries.
12. Disconnect from the power grid.
13. Clear the backyard and plant corn and peas.
14. Potatoes are nice too, and filling.
15. Keep pigs.
16. And chickens.
17. Home-school your kids.
18. No, on second thought, send them to a naïve relative.
19. Wear earplugs 24 hours a day, or get an IPod.
20. No, on second thought, forget the IPod. Get a guitar instead.
21. Sit in the backyard and sing acoustic versions of Black Sabbath songs.
22. Erect a tall fence around your property.
23. Dig a well.
24. Post ‘No Trespassing’ signs all around your property.
25. Learn to bake bread.
26. Learn to like the bread you bake.
27. Keep your opinions to yourself, all of them, forever.
28. Vote to have a Mayor in Plymouth.

You think I’m kidding? I’m not.
If we are going to detach ourselves from the community we live in, we might as well go all the way.
We might as well put our money where our mouths are –and show how much confidence we have in the concept of ‘government by a few people, for the rest of us’.
Sure, wars have been fought to earn the right to full representation, but we’re beyond that. Our democracy is so well put together that it doesn’t need us to make it work.
We trust our representatives – it’s just that we trust fewer and fewer of them.
No, that’s not it.
Okay, so maybe we don’t trust our representatives, but we believe that if there are less of them to trust, they’ll be more trustworthy.
No, that’s not it either.
Oh, I know what it is.
We don’t trust the people in government, but rather than get involved at any level, we’ll just get back at them by eliminating their jobs, and who ever is left, well even if they are not trustworthy, at least we’ll have an easier time assigning blame.
Yeah, that’s it:
We’re for a Mayoral System because when you have a mayor you have someone whose name you know, and can shout out at rallies, when he or she screws up.
The way things are now, the only ones to blame are..well, you and me, and that’s confusing.
And, as I was saying, we just want to be left alone.

I’ve got the perfect slogan for everyone that just wants to be left alone:
“Vote for Mayor –but leave me out of it.”
Place that sign in your yard, but way back, where no one will see it.