George Figures it Out

Don’t look now but, George W. just dropped a GW bomb!
Make the children leave the room.
We’re talking (right-wing reactionary fundies close your ears)… Global Warming, no less.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Global Warming supposed to be a left-wing, Harvard-type, New York Intellectual, gay lesbian socialist worker fantasy of the first degree?
Didn’t that crew-cut, barking hyena on CNN just have his own special news report revealing that Global Warming was a thinly veiled attempt to make San Francisco the de facto capital of the United Fakes?
Yet there was the big GW this past week – in front of the cameras, openly talking about his own global warming initiative, explaining how he’s going to stop using his brush hog for entertainment during those long weekends at the ranch, switch the Marine helicopters he uses over to biofuels, and the twins over to grain alcohol based intoxicants.
Wubudahwubudhahwubudah what the heck happened here?
Has George been born again, again?
Did he take a turn at the pump during a photo opp, and see how the average Joe’s gas dollars have jumped?
Or maybe his old pal Putin clued him in, after a few Vodka Collins?
And it’s not just GW wising up to GW: there are other signs of the apocalypse too!
George II is also speaking - out loud, about Darfur.
They used to snicker behind his back, call him ‘Darfur Duck’, but not now. Now he’s using that tried and true axis of evil, hunt you down and slap you silly talk that served him so well back in the good old days of his oddministration.
He’s mad as hell, and he ain’t going to take it no more.
We’re going to put the squeeze on the Sudanese.
And no, gosh darn it, it has nothing to do with his so called legacy, or the lack thereof – or so we’re told. It has nothing to do with the trouble there having over there in the Mideast, Mideast Texas that is: where word is, money for the Big Dubya Ranch and Presidential Library has just about dried up.
The truth is that - when it comes to old George, it just takes a bit longer for the news to sink in.
Emphasize the first syllable, in the duh-b-ya.
For a Texas boy, GWB was surprisingly slow on the draw. It took longer for him to figure out that he should drop “My Pet Goat” and get his butt onto Air Force One. It took longer for him to figure out that New Orleans was underwater and make his sympathetic, ‘I see y'all down there’ flyover. And it took longer for him to realize there tweren’t no WMD. In fact, I think somebody better go round to the ranch and remind him that, nope – they haven’t found any Big Bads in Baghdad, yet.
Granted, he did seem to jump the gun a bit, as regards the end of the Iraq War. But, what we’re just now finding out is that he was actually reacting to the end of the first Gulf War, when he had his little shindig on the aircraft carrier. When it comes to the latest Gulf War, his timing is perfect: it won’t be over for a long time, and he’s the only one that knows it, or will, eventually.
George W. Bush is leading the way, in terms of, well, not leading the way.
They should tack on an entire wing at the future Big Dubya Ranch and Presidential Library for accomplishments ‘yet to be determined’: kind of like those signs you see on the highway, for “Future Exits”.
The historians are sure that at some point in the future, George W. Bush is going to become one of our greatest presidents. You can count on it.
Heck, look what they did for that semi-pro actor – Ronnie Reagan. He left office babbling, and now he’s practically a saint. They’re naming mountains after him.
George II is not there yet but, give him time.
Better give him extra time.
Then, when you have about given up hope, give him a bit more time.
They say once you retire, you’ve got all the time that you need.
Count on George to figure it out – in the end.