Put the Lime in the Democrats

You can relax; I took care of that nagging State Democratic Convention thingee.
You don’t have to pretend with me: I know you were nervous, a bit confused, and conflicted by your desire to give your family what it wants (the second in a series of 15 consecutive weekend barbeques) and your sense of personal responsibility to be the most active and involved citizen you can be.
So while you stayed home and barbequed in the rain, I spent my weekend in the DCU Center in Worcester, representing your political interests.
No, don’t ask: of course I got you a tee-shirt.
I made it a point to get every one of you at least one tee – in every color of the rainbow.
For those that either don’t vote, or wander into the polls and vote for the person whose name they last heard on a television advertisement, I got one of the Chris Gabrielli shirts: a nice white tee with lettering meant to evoke a Red Sox shirt, and on the back the number 15 (for the percentage of vote he needed to be on the September primary).
These are expensive tee-shirts.
Leading up to the convention Gabrielli spent about 2 million dollars for his 650 votes –which works out to about $3000 per tee shirt.
Wear it and be proud. (Dry Clean only!)
For those of you that like your politics the old fashioned way, I got you a Reilly Tee, in a choice of a lovely burnt orange or bright yellow color.
Well, maybe lovely is not exactly the right word. The Reilly Tees are the color of the lights on a tow-truck: that flashy, cuts through the rain, beware of broken glass, there’s been a horrible accident up ahead, kind of color.
Ever since Attorney Tom General Reilly formally announced his candidacy for Governor he‘s had all the momentum of an avalanche, taking trees and boulders (and much of the Democratic establishment) with him as he fell downhill - so the safety orange color is not only fitting, it’s necessary.
There was a lot of other stuff too, and I brought back a whole suitcase full of it.
One of the 17 Tim’s running for state office was giving out this expensive button that had a built-in little red light that continuously flashed.
At one point, after they first distributed them on Friday night, there was this almost demonic look to the convention center – with a thousand little red eyes blinking madly.
I’m not sure what message you were supposed to get from this souped-up button: maybe, vote for Tim, his flash bulb is always ready; or vote for Tim, you can locate him in a crowd; or vote for Tim, he’ll give you some cool stuff if you do?
Maybe it hummed a subliminal message with every flash of its demonic eye? Vote for Tim, Vote for Tim, Vote for Tim..
Traffic was slowed by the heavy rain that fell as I drove home after the convention ended last Saturday evening –so I just stuck a half-dozen of those little demon-eyed buttons on the dashboard and - like magic, I had the high-speed lane all to myself.
I know I’ve been talking about everything I got you, but you’re right: I got myself a little something too.
Nothing very special, though I know that when I wear it I will be making a statement.
I got myself a Deval Patrick tee.
They only had them in one size, Large.
I tried it on when I got home and, as I thought, it was too small.
I’m a Larger.
But I’m going to keep it.
In fact, I think it’s going to be the motivation for a diet – personal and political.
I’m going to try to lose some weight, and a little rhetoric as well.
The Deval Patrick Tee is a bright, lime green color.
At first I just tolerated that: with Reilly’s orange, and Gabrielli’s white, Galvin’s baby blue, and so on, I told myself that Patrick needed a color that stood out.
Lime Green certainly stands out.
But then, trying it on, I was reminded of the old pop song that goes, “you put the lime in the coconut.”
I always wondered what that song meant. How do you get lime in the coconut?
Trying to get a progressive, grassroots candidate – who isn’t bound to the state’s power structure, elected to a state office, is a bit like squeezing yourself into a shirt one size too small (or squeezing a lime into a coconut).
But ahh, when you do, the feeling is sublime.
You should try it.
Technically, as your representative in Worcester, you already have. In fact, you should know that the twelve elected members of the Plymouth Democratic delegation to the convention, all voted for Patrick.
And he won!
So now you’re wondering, where’s your Deval Patrick stuff?
Sorry: I don’t have any extra Deval Patrick tees.
Deval is not your typical flashing light, cash-rich, tee-shirts for everybody candidate.
Deval isn’t offering the usual one-size fits all, whatever you want to hear, politics as usual Massachusetts Democratic message.
If you want the Deval Tee, you’re going to have to lose some of your old fat, abandon some of your old rhetoric, and add a little color to your wardrobe.
You’re going to have to squeeze the lime in to the Democrats.
Otherwise, on Election Day in November, Ambulance Orange could be the color of the day for Democrats, once again.